If you are a perfect mom, you can stop reading this right now.

The rest of us who deal with forgetting children’s’ appointments (or forgetting actual children!), or are not gourmet chefs, flawless friends, fabulous decorators, or supermodels can wipe the breakfast crumbs off our sweatshirts and keep reading!

My good friend Jill Savage just released a wonderful book called NO MORE PERFECT MOMS.

Jill is imperfect. It is what I love about her.

She founded and runs an organization for moms called Hearts at Home so people might expect her to be very perfect.

She, instead, expects herself to be very real. And she is.

Our 18-year friendship started with a phone call (during which my water burst for our second child!).

It has continued since and has included our honest sharing about messy homes, messy marriages, wayward kids and imperfect mothering decisions—-from both of us.

Her desire in this book is to help mothers everywhere shelve their desires for perfection along with their insecurities of not measuring up to other moms.

No More Perfect Moms will help you…

  • Change your unrealistic expectations to realistic expectations in order to better manage everyday challenges.
  • Give grace and love to your husband and children even in difficult family life circumstances.
  • Increase your confidence when you resist the urge to compare your insides to other women’s outsides.
  • Discover the beauty of grace when you stop judging yourself and stop judging others.
  • Find freedom from disappointment when you embrace your real family, your real challenges, and your real, but imperfect, life.

Now, here’s the really cool thing.

Pick up a copy of  No More Perfect Moms anytime this week between February 3-9 (online or at a store…and yes, electronic versions such as Kindle and Nook count too!)

Send a copy of your receipt Scan it, take a picture of it – just be sure to send it to the email! You’ll then be given access to well over $100 worth of resources that will help you on your mothering journey – absolutely free!

To see the cool freebies (including Mp3s, printables and ebooks) click here.

And, to enter to win a free copy here, signed by Jill, simply leave a comment telling us in what area of mothering or life you are not perfect but struggle with insecurity and measuring up.

I’ll go first……looks.

Looks. LOOKS. Always looks. Since 1975…..looks.



  1. MC says

    I really struggle with patience (read not screaming all the time) during the morning rush and the evening dinner time hours. I pray a lot then.

  2. Candice Aigeltinger says

    My OCD is not what it once was so I struggle with clutter, and organization. We have so much stuff and not enough space that it becomes overwhelming. Having one child with ADD,and another with Asperger’s can wear my patience thin. I pray for forgiveness for the moments I feel when I have been pushed past my limits, and I pray to have more patience.

  3. Connie says

    I really struggle with balancing mom and wife…..As a mom of four girls, I think my husband draws the short stick way to often. I pray daily that I can become the wife God would have me be.

  4. Kerry says

    My patience wears thins especially after a long day of work and having to come home to continue a different sort of work.

  5. Heather says

    Whew! I struggle with patience in my everyday life with my family. I pray constantly for God’s help and forgiveness in this area daily!

  6. says

    I’m like the other ladies. Patience. When I’m tired and just want complete cooperation at bedtime that’s never how it goes. When I just need five minutes- I feel like I never get it. It’s situations like these that I lose it and my patience is pretty much non-existant. Sometimes I realize I just need to take a deep breath and then things go better. It’s difficult to always remember this and keep it together.

  7. Mary Kay says

    I struggle with comparisons and judging my inadequacy of being a homemaker. Silly me compares my house to the houses of other moms. After working 40+ hours at my office job I have the never-finished job of home-making waiting for me–which really amounts to just trying to keep up with making supper, the laundry and dishes…the rest usually waits until the night before we are to have company. :(

    • Lori says

      I truly get what you mean! After being a stay at home mom for 14 years, I went to work part-time (35 hrs./week), when our youngest of 3 boys started pre-school. I feel like during the week it is all I can do to make it through homework, supper, showers, and laundry. I was once able to keep everything done at home and now I struggle to accept things are diffterent.

  8. Jules says

    Measuring up… My sister struggles with this… Thinking she has failed because some days young adult children say things they don’t mean.

  9. Karen Landers says

    I struggle with patience and giving each child my undivided attention.I also struggle with the emotional drama of teenagers! Sometimes you just don’t know what direction to take! I also struggle with teaching God’s word to them and feel like I am not doing enough!!

  10. Melissa Fordyce says

    As a young mom of 9 ages 17-1 – I struggle daily with feeling like I’m failing them – but I’m doing my best & looking to God so I have to give my worries to him or else I’d be hopeless.

  11. Dorothy Meyer says

    What don’t I struggle with? I struggle with struggling! I know I’m suppose to trust God in everything but
    I struggle with being “a fun size girl” you know short and a little ( ok a lot of extra pounds on). I struggle with
    My hair! Really? Yes! Can’t stand my hair! Why can’t it look like my friends? Ugh!! I know it’s wrong to be jealous and envious
    But oh how I struggle with that!! Then you can just add on the house that doesn’t look like a Better Homes and Garden house.
    The meals that never really look like the pictures ( lol and sometimes don’t quite taste right either)! My relationships with family and friends
    why can’t they be easier? After all they look easier on TV! And now the big one, just struggling with being worthy of God and his blessings
    and love. Oh how I struggle with that! Can God really truly love me with all my imperfections and constant failings? That’s probably the biggie in my life! Dorothy in Virginia

  12. says

    Where do I begin!? My biggest struggle is keeping everything the way I prefer it. It doesn’t have to be perfect, but I’d like a tidy, uncluttered home, a schedule that allows time to be spontaneous or do somthing other than what’s on the schedule, and relationships with my family that are more than “do you have homework?”, “what’s for dinner?”. I really don’t mind the craziness – we make the most of it and enjoy this fabulous time in our lives, but sometimes I feel like I’m treading water just well enough to keep my face above the water line.

  13. Sabrina M. says

    Having it all together. The house cleaned, laundry done, homework help, dinner and not take-out, I can go on and on! The one that bothers me most though is helping our younger daughter with attitude problem and respect. I see myself comparing my mothering skills and wondering how other moms get their kids to be respectful and actually do what they’re told.

  14. Audrey says

    Never feeling I am enough! In any area. Never good enough of a mom, never patient enough, never disciplined enough.
    I pick apart myself. I just read “unglued” it has really been a blessing. The comment in your post about comparing our insides to others outsides” hits the nail on the head! That is so key! I want to read this book too! God is teaching me that who He made me is who I need to be.

  15. Amie says

    I struggle with balancing homeschool with caring for our home and family and not forgetting EVERYTHING in the process. I want to make sure that I’m giving my best in all aspects but always feel stretched (while still feeling like I should be doing more). Bring on the book, please!!:)

  16. D'ana says

    Impatience….. and a hot temper that I freak out over the simplest things. Plus I am a HUGE people pleasing perfectionist!! Not a good combo!!

  17. Debbie says

    I am struggling as we speak with a 24 year old son that can’t get his life straight I also have a 12 year old daughter and I don’t know how to handle the things I am dealing with without each one thinking the other is getting more than the other they are at such different ages the discipline can’t be the same and my daughter can’t understand she is a great kid the “perfect” child and the son has caused us nothing but problems and my daughter can’t understand why we according to her let him get away with the things he does well what can I do he is an adult but his consequences are our consequences also I am defeated and broken and don’t know what to do I feel like a failure as a parent he got a girl pregnant in hs got married, divorced, DUI, drug addiction stealing the list goes on and on and wasn’t raised like that we don’t drink, never did drugs he was raised in church and in a good home always involved in sports and was given anything he needed but has really went off the deep end but doesn’t think he has a problem my husband tries to be his friend and bail him out and that has caused marriage problems with us. I am about ready to run away with my daughter.

  18. Marla says

    My children are older, and I tend to want to control things as I did when they were young. It doesn’t work too well when they are 18 and above boys!!

    • june b says

      Letting go is so tough isn’t it? My oldest is now in graduate school and my youngest just started college this past September. Best advice I was given is from my older brother. “You need to focus on being a mom not mommy”. I try to remind myself of that everytime I respond or react to what is going on. It is very freeing once you get the hang of it. Like you I also have boys. We are actually an empty nest now and I struggle more with missing them. Have tons of friends, great job and great outside interests, but miss the chaosis that is brought on by them needing me. Make sense?

      Marla, are you going to purchase the book? I’m wondering it can relate to mom’s of older children.

  19. says

    Just for the record, Karen Ehman, you are a beautiful woman with lovely sparkling eyes and a huge heart for all of us imperfect women. Your writing and wit always picks me up. I am not perfect in so many ways, but the one that rises to the top is my shame…and it rears its ugly head through my messy, cluttery, in need of a makeover home. Mind you, I have a lovely home. And I am so aware of how blessed I am to live in a warm home in a terrific town. But if you come to my door unannounced, shame surrounds me like a scratchy wool blanket. First I’ll stand at the door and try to head you off…then once you come in I’ll start apologizing…and just when you’ve settled on the couch, I’ll practically throw you off in an effort to straighten the pillows you’re leaning on. All the while the voice inside my head is saying, “Look at this mess. How embarrassing. I am a mess. My house is a mess. Oh God, how can I live like this?” Sad but true…I’m better, but it’s still there.

  20. Sonja says

    I struggle with taking time for my appearance. Showering and styling my hair and applying makeup used to be fun and relaxing. Now, it is a complete chore and most of the time I skip it in favor of another half hour of sleep. By midway through the day it seems pointless and by 4:30 when I need to run to the grocery to buy the one item I forgot that is needed to complete dinner – I am frantic an in a horrible mood because I look like a total mommy frump-lump.

  21. Angela says

    I struggle with patience and worry as I work with our 2 year old on potty training and work on getting ready to homeschool our 5 year old.

  22. Carissa D. Huffman says

    Ummm—looks, messy house that seems impossible to get even tidy, just feeling like I must be the laziest mom/person ever…

    Does that work?? :)

    Carissa in eastern Iowa

  23. Gail says

    I am an older Mom, and now a Grandmother of 8. I have 3 daughters and one daughter in love. We all have our struggles, and yet with the Lord Jesus at our side, and as we mature, we often trade one struggle for another, yet He helps those older struggles, to fade into the background with His love to carry us through. I so want to understand the younger generation to carry on with the things they go through so this book might just be what I need to help in todays hardships. Thanks for sharing. I am thankful for others who do not feel they have it all together, to journey with To be honest, I really doubt if anyone feels they do have it perfect!

  24. Lin says

    I struggle with my calling of four growing children. How to keep up with changing personalities and the seasons in life? How to balance my marriage with my children and working outside the home (full-time). Tired of being tired. I know God has more in store for us as a family….Thank you so much for all you share, VERY encouraging for me!!!

  25. Kendra says

    I struggle with managing my time in the evenings – dinner, homework, showers, chores, play time, Bible study, bed time. I am always trying to strike a balance between being organized enough to get the important things taken care of (in a timely manner that doesn’t extend bedtimes to the middle of the night!) and being relaxed/calm/peaceful. about it all Thanks for all you do!

  26. TERESA says

    I struggle with making the right choices – being a single mom – I have to weigh both sides of all situaions. Thank the Father in Heaven, I daily lean on Him to help me make those tough choices. I have 2 teenagers in the house – So He is So Needed!!!

  27. Jessica Reno says

    I Struggle with letting go…and with cleaning my house. It’s not a mess or anything but I hate to clean. The letting go part is letting go of control of every single aspect of being a step-mom to a strong willed young lady who doesn’t listen to wise counsel.

  28. Jenny Martin says

    I struggle with yelling–sometimes that is the only way they pay any attention–but I hate yelling at them–and hate the guilt afterwards–did I scar them for life by yelling at them to get dressed in the morning!

  29. Nancy Silvers says

    At this time, my only children at home are of the four legged varienty and I STILL struggle with mothering issues. Keeping the house neat and clutter free. Giving the pups the attention they need when I am tired. The dust bunnies seem to muliply faster than real bunnies!! I could complain about the clutter but 90% of it is MINE! Yikes!!!!
    God Bless you Karen-You are beautiful–inside and out :)

  30. Scarlett says

    I struggle with regret and feelings of failure. My daughter is graduating from HS this May and my son is almost finished his Soph. Yr in college and as I look back over the years I see so many areas I failed at being a Christian mom, wife, etc. I regret not reading the Bible more with my children, having more sit down dinners, devotional time, and becoming more involved in church activities. Both my children gave their lives to Christ and were baptized 2 yrs. ago. I am blessed beyond measure by the gift and honor that God gave me in being their mother. I just feel they are who they are in Christ not because of me and my husband (and how we raised them) but they are who they are in spite of us. I praise God every day for His gifts of grace, mercy and His unfailing love, without Him I would be nothing.

  31. Sandra says

    I struggle with meeting the false expectations I have in my head of what type of mother, wife, homemaker, volunteer etc… I am suppose to be!!! My three boys are growing up so fast, and while I want to enjoy these years with them, I find myself wishing they would grow up faster and then maybe, just maybe life would be a bit easier! How terrible is that!! I am working on decluttering the house…..turning to God… and so many other issues. But the #1 prayer I have right now is for God to help me appreciate my children more!

  32. Bobbie G says

    i struggle with reqrets of how I mis handled the growing up years of my two daughters. They are both married now and have children of their own. I may hear from them once a week. Would love to establish a closer loving relationship with both of them.

  33. Karen says

    I struggle with the thoughts of not being the perfect mom because I am single parent with a chronic illness it makes me feel like I’m not giving my daughter the best because I have these strikes against me but thank God for his love!

  34. Bree says

    At times, I’m insecure about my future (I’m currently unemployed). However, reading the Bible every day has certainly helped with my anxiety.

  35. says

    I struggle with perfectionism, expectations, and comparisons. I often expect more than I should from my husband and young children. Thankfully my family give me lots of grace! I am far from a perfect mom but in my head I think I should be! I am definitely adding this book to my list of “want to read”!

  36. Kelly B. says

    Work, home, church, looks, marriage……you name it!! I also take on all the burdens for our entire family. I hate comparing myself to others but it seems to be instinctive.

  37. Tes says

    Ummm, what area do I NOT struggle in would probably be easier. :) I know a constant is a messy house, which irritates my hubby even more. It’s hard to keep on top of it with our busy schedule. If I didn’t have to sleep, I could get it all done. I struggle with all areas a wife/mother/employee/sibling/adult child struggles with.

  38. Jodi Gilpin says

    Of course we are not perfect in anything. What I want to do but am failing to do regularly is bringing the bible into my and also my 3yr old daughters home. I was raised a Christian and went to a Catholic School but I wasn’t exposed to the bible was not there and I want that to be different for my daughter, however my obedience to this struggles.

  39. Jen Jolea says

    Just ONE thing?!?!?!? That’s a tough one. Self-confidence is a biggy for me and extending patience and grace to my kids–allowing them to learn from their mistakes and not trying to fix everything for them. Oh . . .that’s more than one–sorry. The list could go on and on–

  40. Lillian Gimmelli says

    I definitely struggle in losing my patience too quickly with my two children. Trying to do everything and tend to everyone, not having any time for myself…I get too frustrated too quickly. I would be blessed to win the gift. Thank you.

  41. Sandy says

    I echo the sentiment of many…just one area?? :) The one I struggle with the most is finding the balance between involvement in my children’s lives and allowing them to make sound choices and experience the consequences (good or bad) for them!

  42. Janice says

    I struggle with two daughters who have chosen a much different path than I wanted for them. It is hard extending grace sometimes. Oh and comparing, I probably win the comparison to everyone else award!

  43. jennifer rae says

    I struggle thinking I don’t do “fun” things with my kids. There is a span in ages and I struggle with ideas for everyone to do at the same time that is fun.

  44. Angela says

    I struggle with the lie that women have to “do it all.” I’m a new mom and back at work. I constantly put pressure on myself to achieve success at work, be the best mom, the best wife, make the best meals, keep a perfectly clean house, look great all the time, read my Bible and pray every day, volunteer, have lots of friendships. The truth is that I can’t do it all…it’s been hard to keep the house clean, make meals from scratch and always look good when the baby is spitting up on my clothes. I feel worse about myself when I feel that I’m not “doing it all” and “doing it all well,” but I think I am the one who really puts that pressure on myself. And I forget that every mom struggles.

  45. Alainna says

    I struggle being a new mom of a one month old. I want to do everything “right” as a mom. I’m struggling getting enough sleep because there are things to do. Our house is a mess, laundry piled high, take out constantly, dishes waiting in the sink. If I get a shower, it’s a good day. All I can do is sit in my chair watching tv while nursing my baby every 2 hours. A daunting task to have my baby rely on me for everything.

  46. Rebecca says

    Number one struggle for me would be messy, unorganized house. I just pray that on any day during the week that no one shows up unexpectedly! My parents and sisters always say that my house looks fine and maybe just a little “lived in”. My husband’s family is a different story, perfect wouldn’t be good enough. So I have been really trying to remember that my approval comes from God and not man.

  47. Darcey says

    There are so many to choose from, but mostly clutter and making time for the most important things, like my husband, my kids and God.

  48. Kerri Simpson says

    Time management is probably one of my biggest struggles. I feel a lot if times like I don’t always give my kids the quality time they need because I make myself busy doing other things that may seem important at the time, but in the big grand scheme of things, they are what matter most.

  49. Rebecca says

    I struggle with patience and remembering that she is only 10, even though she acts like she is grown some days. I need to put the brakes on and enjoy these sweet moments, they pass all to quickly!

  50. Tammy Price says

    I struggle with trying to be the perfect outgoing mom. I’m a very shy person and don’t do all the stuff that some of my daughter’s friends mom’s do. And like all mom’s there are days when your tired and stressed and just want a moment’s peace so tend to lose our patience much quicker. I need to learn to be more patient and outgoing.

  51. Marci says

    I have a son who loves to argue and twist my words. I hate to argue and most of the time walk away with things unresolved. I wish I knew the right answer to that problem.

  52. says

    Being a Mom is so hard sometimes…I miss them when I am at work. I feel like we don’t have enough hours in the day to do the things that have to be done and spend fun time together. I have to work on patience – it wears thin on those mornings no one wants to get up and get ready. :-)

  53. says

    Having always been a perfectionist, accepting my imperfection is something I battle with daily!!! As most single moms can attest, it’s difficult to handle it all by yourself: being the breadwinner, the housekeeper, the tailor, the referee, the chauffeur, the head chef, the tutor, the spiritual leader… Boy, does it get exhausting. I would love to read this book and learn how to accept myself as I am and celebrate my imperfections.

  54. Tara says

    I so struggle with keeping a clean & organized home!! I can’t seem to get that laundry actually washed, dried and IN THE DRAWERS to save my life!!

  55. Leigh Anne Hutto says

    Oh, could I use a copy of this book! I struggle with second guessing my words, actions, interactions, decisions with or for my children! UGH! I probably could say I struggle with comparing myself with other moms who seem like they’ve got it all together and their children are turning out perfectly! HA!

  56. kathy says

    Discipline. It totally stresses me out at a playgroup or something and it is MY child who is the one hitting, taking other people’s toys, and just being mean on purpose.

  57. amy crowe says

    My husband ad daughter are “free people.” I on the other hand-CONTROL FREAK! I struggle with just letting them be themselves and be happy. I swore I would never be militant like my parents, but I am deep down, just that. I want so much for my daughter. I want her to be so happy and free and know God and love God with all her might and sometimes I don’t feel I am leading her in that direction when I am constantly trying to control everything. I am not truly enjoying her and our relationship and in a short matter of time she is going to be gone and I dont want her memories of me to be “dictator.”

  58. Kristy B says

    Both my children have health issues that require regular trips to Children’s Hospital for check ups with specialists and both face the treat of serious surgery. I struggle with how to lead them gently and strongly through this maze of emotions as they struggle with the emotions and their faith in God through this as the pray for healing (and we do too), and it has not come yet.

  59. Sherry Hope says

    In this season of empty nest, for me it has been hard to let go of my youngest son; and he’s 26!!! Both of my sons are men of strength, character, and virtue; I’m very proud to be their mother. However it still is hard to not want to step in and do some mothering when they are very successful and capable men.

  60. Jennifer D. says

    Patience and joy are so hard for me. I can keep things organized, clean, functioning properly, but do I have God’s joy and patient with my children while doing it??

  61. Mary says

    I struggle with what other people think of the kind of mom I am. I am not a perfect mom. But others have so many complimentary things about my parenting . I know that should make me feel good but instead I worry that they will find out I am less than perfect at it.

  62. Crystal says

    Since it seems I struggle in every area, I’ll sum it up to say that i struggle with wanting to be perfect. I know that there are areas that are weak for me (like putting together dinner on time unless it’s a one-pot meal that I started first thing in the morning). But there are other areas that I begin to take pride in doing well – such as managing the checkbook or performing at work. And as soon as I let that pride puff me up, BAM! I screw up. I forget to document in the check register or I send an important email to my boss but forget the attachment. I suppose it is God’s way of showing me the need to be humble.

  63. says

    Feeding my kids. I constantly compare myself to others and how their all-organic, gourmet meals make my healthy but simple meals look “bad”. I always feel like I could be doing more to get my kids to eat fruits and vegetables and to have my kids enjoy the latest in super foods. I love the idea behind this book! Being a mom is tough, no matter what. Add comparing ourselves to others and expecting unrealistic things and it becomes downright impossible!

  64. Trish says

    Insecure…that’s me! I am almost 6 ft tall big boned, and even as an adult I want to cry sometimes. I feel like an Amazon. : (. Not to mention, my spouse uses my insecurities against me. I am so much stronger than I used to be, but he can still make me cry!

  65. Elaine Segstro says

    I struggle with wisdom in speaking to my children. I’m worried that I will say too much, and sound like I’m an overprotective mom. I’m worried that I will say too little and show that I don’t care enough. James calls us to ask for wisdom. God freely gives!

  66. brooke says

    perfection….that’s what my struggles ALL come down to… Why can’t I get it right? Why does my house look like a bomb went off? Why am I not able to do all that I want to do? Why am I sitting on the computer when I should be doing laundry? UGH!

  67. sherri says

    feeling I don’t have it all together and never will, while “comparing” myselft to those that seem to have it all together.

  68. Vijay Murugan says

    i strive everyday to be a perfect mom but when lifes hectic schedules get the better of me and my chidren just wont listen to me , I loose my cool and out of fustration I can blow up. This leaves me feeling guilty and insecure because I so much want to be a good mom. Sometimes I just want to cry because it is so overwhelming. .

  69. says

    The area I struggle with most is trying to be super mom. Thinking I can do it all on my own, when I don’t need to or have to. God has blessed me with a wonderful husband and an amazing support system. I need to learn to say, “Yes, I need help.”

  70. April Haynes says

    I struggle with trying to be perfect. I set unrealistic expectations for myself thinking that to be a good Mom, I have to do ………..
    Sounds like a great book.

  71. DebK says

    I struggle with being critical instead of encouraging. I’m afraid my children will always remember that about me….even if I change NOW.

  72. Pattie says

    I struggle with not having the same finances as my friends… Can’t put our daughter in the same ballet classes, can’t take the same vacations as their friends’ families, etc. as much as I try to manage what we have, there just never seems to be enough. Makes me sad for my kids, that they have to miss out while they watch others participate.

  73. says

    I’m struggling with LOVINGLY handing out jobs around the house to make our family run more smoothly.
    My frustration seems to be doing all the talking and nothing is getting better.

  74. says

    I flipped through and read some of the previous comments and my answer kept changing. I feel sad to think that as women, we find it so easy to come up with a list of daily or seemingly forever struggles. I could start my list. However, I think the fact that I have a list underlines the area of my very biggest. struggle…God’s love and grace…and how He sees me! I fail to be able, most of the time, to see myself through God’s eyes. I usually see others through His eyes all the while silently believing that He loves them much more than me (why wouldn’t He?). I pray for every woman who has left a comment, including myself, that we would be able to receive His love and see ourselves through His eyes of grace!

  75. Daphne R. says

    Ummm…honestly? I struggle with everything…it just changes from day-to-day :-) Sometimes it’s the messy kitchen, sometimes it’s impatience with the kids, sometimes it’s feeling so frumpy I can’t imagine what my husband sees in me. I’m finding that the key to working through those things is taking time with the Lord. He can help us to become more organized and tidy, He can give us patience and He can remind us how beautiful we are and that He created a desire for us in our husbands. Would love to read this…thanks!!

  76. Emily P says

    patience of course, controlling my frustration/anger when I lose my patience . . . this book sounds wonderful, can’t wait to read it!!

  77. Lauren says

    Finding balance between work, homework, my husband, our daughter, and housework. Also, I struggle at putting God first before considering what needs to be done now or what can wait until He is ready for it to be done.

  78. Heather says

    I struggle with being a mom, a wife, a child of God, an employee, a sister, a daughter, a friend, a cousin, a niece-how can I do it all and still have patience.

  79. Kim says

    I struggle with not being enough – not a good enough mother, not smart enough , engaging enough, pretty enough- it’s exhausting and not what the Lord wants. I try to be kinder to myself and it works sometimes but when I’m stressed or overwhelmed , it all comes crashing down.

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