On Motives and Breaking Up

First of all…congrats to the winner of my prize from yesterday’s Proverbs 31 Carnival of Giveaways. She is:

Faith: Timestamp February 16, 2010 at 3:22 pm

Send your home address to karen@proverbs31.org so I can ship your gift out asap! :-)

Now back to our regularly scheduled Weight Loss Wednesday post. (If you haven’t joined our little cyber group of girlfriends, don’t fret! Newcomers are always welcome. You can get caught up by clicking on Weight Loss Wednesdays in the side bar.)

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I had a hard week.

I planned on it being a great week; especially after stepping on the scale last Wednesday and glancing down at the digital numbers flashing at me. It was then that I realized I was only a tad bit over 10 pounds away from getting back to my lifetime Weight Watchers goal weight.

Man was I pumped.

The end was getting in sight.

Then, this past Thursday, I got sick. A terrible sinus monster invaded my head. It made it throb, pound and feel as if it surely would explode. I couldn’t sleep, or think straight. And I had an entire weekend of thinkin’ ahead of me.

Since I am severely allergic to cold medicine, I had to suffer. I was able to use a nose spray that helps for a few hours, just long enough to make it through playing a “Showcase Showdown Girl” during a game show spoof at our church’s Valentines Day banquet . Other than that, I was miserable.

And worst of all, since I couldn’t breathe, I couldn’t smell. Since I couldn’t smell, nothing tasted good. Ya think that woulda helped my weight loss efforts.

It didn’t.

Nothing tasted good.

So I kept tasting.

I went from salty, to sweet, to spicy and back to salty again. On Sunday, I added back in dark chocolate, which I had been fasting from. Sweet hubby even bought me my favorite— Sea-salted dark Chocolate from World Market. It still didn’t do the trick. Could hardly taste it!

I know now my stomach wasn’t hungry; my taste buds were bored and no matter what I ate, I didn’t feel satisfied.

It lasted for three days!!!!

I also gave into a sometimes bad habit I have of hopping on the scale just to “peek” at how I am doing from Wednesday to Wednesday.

By Friday morning, I was down a bit.

But by Monday morning, after my three day quest for something to taste good and fill me up and after downing lots of salt which I normally avoid….I was up over 3 pounds! Ughhhhhhh!

It threw me into a massive blue funk. An “I-might-as-well-throw-in-the-towel-and-shut-down-WLW-on-my-blog-since-I-am-such-a-bad-example” funk.

Seriously.

But the last two days I have settled down and tried to discover if God wants me to do something different.

He does.

He wants me to break up with my scale. My state-of-the-art, Weight Watchers Digital scale.

It is defining me. And it is defeating me.

Even though when we started off last October, I encouraged you all to be defined by obedience and not a number on the scale, (post here) this past weekend, I was not taking my own advice.

So, I am officially breaking up with my scale, ending the love/hate relationship I have with it. Not for good, just for a while.

I have decided to start weighing in only on the first day of the month. I need my motivation to be obedience to God in my eating, not some stupid number on the stinkin’ scale. And I know from losing weight before how crazy addicted I get to hopping on the scale and seeing it go up or down when I am near my goal. It makes me crazy! And I often react by overeating if it doesn’t move as quickly as I’d like, which often drags out losing those last 10-15 pounds for what seems like an eternity!!!

So, I will still check in with you each Wednesday. Just not with my scale.

He and I will just have a once-a-month date and in between, I’ll have my husband hide him somewhere in the house. No….out in the pole barn. Then I’d have to wander 30 yards through several inches of snow to get it!

I hope this works!

Well— how was your week?

I hope it was better than mine. And thanks again for your cyber-presence here. You help me keep in line, and when I don’t, to hit the restart button—which I am doing RIGHT NOW!!!!! :-)

Sweet Blessings,

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  • Wow, this has been a tough week for a lot of folks! I was fine until Sunday when I was allowed to eat chocolate again! I did not have much self control and ate a lot of it that day, Monday and yesterday. Today was a little better. I did exercise more but it wasn’t enough to cancel out the increase in calories. I know that when I write down what I eat every day I am much more careful but I’m having a hard time getting back to that consistantly. I have decided that most nights I will walk on the treadmill while watching the Olympics instead of just sit there for hours! I probably should also not get on my scale as often but I find when I don’t then I am more likely to over eat. Sigh!
    Rebecca Ann

  • Wow! Checking in this late gives me the privilege to read all of your posts. The reason I started with you ladies last week is because I need the accountability of weighing in each week AND because I wanted your prayers. I will be praying for His strength, peace and direction in all of our lives. I don’t know why life seems so difficult sometimes, but I do know He is faithful. How blessed we are to have this site to come share and know we are accepted and loved. This is the first time the scale has gone down for me in two and a half years. I weighed in at my all time heaviest at the doctors office last month. My sister encouraged me to change my eating. I have lost 4.4 lbs in the last week and a half. I am trying to keep it simple. Counting calories and walking everyday. God bless.

  • Wow, I was just about to beg for your prayers, but reading how some of you have been dealing with illness or just struggling, I am praying for YOU ladies! It’s great to see some of you have lost weight, like 10#! Woohoo, Jennifer!
    I am going to just be honest and say the weight gain has already started. I’m ok with that, but I’m NOT ok with my feeling of overwhelmness and lack of motivation. I just sit on the couch all day struggling with morning sickness & heartburn and just pregnancy exhaustion. I am learning foods I can handle, thanks for the tips last week! So I feel I’m starting to get a little grip. I just really need a sense that it’s not going to be like this for 8 more months. I am begging God for no more than 1 month of feeling like this, like who do I think I am?? I’m not the one in charge. And if God is trying to teach me something, than I better turn off the stupid TV and open His book and spend time with Him again. I can’t believe how every single thing in my life has changed. It’s very frustrating to me.
    So I agree, Crystal, you hit it on the head. Our enemy is attacking us, but that’s a good thing bc that means we are a threat! :)
    Karen, that is amazing that you can check in just once a month with your scale. I do see your point, when I have had bad days (which are just about every day now), it makes me want to check in more than once a week.
    Danielle, you can also try low fat cheeses and hard boiled eggs for protein on your salad. Or nuts. I love pecans in my salads.

  • I think alot of us are in the same boat, and unfortunetly, the devil seems to be the driver right now. Humph! Let’s pitch him out and get Jesus back behind the wheel.

    Today on the way home from the gym, I was thinking about the fact that we are one month and three weeks into this new year and already I’ve waffling. I hate that! But, PTL! He is so merciful and He’s just waiting to give us the strength and energy we need.

    My doctor told me the other day that the reason I’m not losing enough is because I’m not getting enough protein. *sigh* I can’t help it if my body is craving salad 2x a day, everyday! But, I can help it that I don’t put chicken or tuna or something in it.

    Praying for us all to have strength!

  • Gabriela – you also have a crazy scale. According to mine this week, I have either gained 1/2 pound or 1 1/2 pounds. Either way, I was not happy to see the increase. My eating and exercise “misbehaviors” were worst two weeks ago, but the scale is showing it more now. There might be a delay for gaining and losing. I don’t know. Hmmm.
    Anyway – it sounds like this was a tough week for a lot of us. And you know, I think it’s not coincidental. I think the enemy is trying very hard to attack us where he knows he can hurt us. We have to remember that this is a spiritual battle. Not that the devil is winning if we gain a few pounds as much as he is winning if we give in to defeat and discouragement, or poor self-talk, or feeling like we can’t help others when we fall off the wagon ourselves. This is one of those times when we need to use our personal problems as a sign of our weakness and our need for God; that it is okay to use our problems to help encourage others (in other words – we don’t need to always have all the answers of be a perfect example to help someone else); and to submit ourselves to God’s will and recommit ourselves to obedience to Him.
    Forgive me if I don’t make “sense”! I am very hormonal this week, and I admit that I have cried tears nearly every day over feeling physically and mentally and emotionally fatigued. On the one hand, I know that I have a lot to be thankful for; but on the other hand, I am throwing myself a very fancy pity party. I know that God is good, that He has the best plan for me, but right now I am not acting like it. I am spending time in worry, fear, and anxiety. My husband told me last night that it is not good to make decisions out of fear, but that decisions should be made from a position of strength. He is absolutely right. But right now, I can’t seem to get to that place. Maybe because of the hormones. Or maybe that is just another excuse and I’m giving in to the desire of the enemy to oppress me and tear me down. In any case, I am going to stop what I’m doing right now and pray for each and every one of us here. Sending hugs to all…

  • This week was challenging for me, too.
    I didn’t want to post because my scale said I was weighing 1 and 1/2 lb. More! I kept checking allll week and I found out our Martial Arts class has a scale which showed
    I had lost 1 lb!!!!!!
    This morning I weighed again with mine and it still
    showed 1 pound gained????

    One great thing did happen! After making myself get up to spend time with God, I surprisingly WOKE UP without the alarm
    now!!!!! I am enjoying meeting with the One who made me and loves me the most again!!!!
    Today, while reading a Bible Study, I came across the verse which I had been giving for my children to memorize!!!
    Matthew 22:37-40. This is why I decided to post. I considered this more important than the reading on the scale.

    I think I need to also break up with my scale right now. I will focus on putting Christ first.
    Thank you Karen for your transparency.

  • Well I had a doctor’s appointmet yesterday and found out that I have lost ten pounds in seven months. It’s not much but I’ll take it. It’s a lot better than the weight going in the other direction. Karen, I have spent a few weeks not getting on my scale and when I did and saw the numbers going down it was more encouraging. This week as far as eating is concerned, I haven’t been eating much. I simply haven’t been hungry. I’m back to eating once a day even though my Spiritual mom keeps telling me to eat three times a day. Since last Thursday I’ve pretty much have been living off of chocolate. I ask for your prayers. I’ve been going through some depressing days for the past few weeks. I haven’t been sleeping well and it’s been a month since I’ve been motivated to exercise.

  • Hi Everyone,
    Thanks Karen for being so honest about your weight loss. I have an obsession with my scale also. I am going to try and only get on it once a week.

    I lost 1 pound this week which seems like a miracle since I didn’t have very good control over my eating, but I did get some exercise in every day except one.

  • Okay this is my 2nd post, I think, anyway I have been working out and trying to lose for about 5 weeks now and have only lost 6 pounds total. they say muscle weighs more than fat so I am hoping that is what is happening, I have 20 pounds to go. I too get on the scale just about every morning, I guess to try and keep myself straight, but I tend to get discouraged too, so I will try and break up with him too and only weigh in at the Y my regular once a week, we’ll see. I am a little discouraged because I tend to be hungry a lot and don’t have a lot of extra money to buy the healthier stuff, HELP! But I am trying to eat less and I am definately exercising a lot more, like 4 and 5 days a week for at least 45 minutes of very vigorous exercise and even some weights added in there for toning. Thank you for this blog. I will try and check in often.

  • Hi Ladies! I am ran across Weight Loss Wednesday this week for the first time and would love to join you all!!! My goal is to lose 53 lbs. I gained a lot of weight while pregnant. I have two little boys who are 18 months apart and have two sets of “baby weight” to lose. My youngest is now 19 months old and I am tired of looking and feeling the way I do. I work from home so I can raise our boys, which is very hard because the kitchen it only steps away and I don’t have all of the walking that I used to in my office. I feel like the scale has been my enemy for the past 3 years, but I am hoping with a little female support, some discipline and a positive attitude I can shake this weight for good!!!

  • I am down 400 grams this week. Unfortunately though, me and the weekend are no longer on good terms! Vicki, I did exactly the same thing over the weekend. I don’t even know why. I think I said last week that I thought I ate because of anxiety, but that wasn’t the case over the weekend. I just kept going and going with no rhyme or reason. So this week I have been reminding myself… ‘whether you eat or drink… do it all for the glory of God’! And I believe that self-control is glorifying to God so I keep reminding myself of this. It will be interesting to see if I listen! :-) Until next week…

  • Karen I am there too. I find myself weighing inbetween my once a week WLW. I get so discouraged when one day I’m at my lowest since before Thanksgiving and then come Wednsday I’m back to where I was before. I know my body is just bouncing all over the place since I’ve added in my routine for exercise. Anyway, I’m going to stick to only weighing in on Wednsdays. I know I’m not ready to give up all refined sugar but I am going to start with caffine and pop. If I can start with one or two things at a time then each week I’ll add another and over time it will become a habit. Thanks for the continued openess from everyone. I look forward to Wednsdays every week!
    Lisa

  • Well, this is my first time posting. I’ve been wanting to lose weight for a while now. (at least 60lbs, but my ultimate goal would be 70lbs) Especially after my yearly check-up in July. I was at 195,triglycerides high, diabetes running in the family and being 5ft., this really wasn’t good. I thought, that’s it! I’m losing the weight. I start exercising sporadically. But of course, life happens and everything becomes an excuse. By October, I happened to gain another 5lbs., making this the heaviest I’ve ever been. I managed to lose the 5lbs. I gained, but nothing more. I just couldn’t find anything that would work, and started to think, I’m never gonna be a healthy weight again. Finally, At one of my staff development meetings, I met someone during lunch and she told me about this clinic she’s going to and thought, what the heck, I might as well try it. Well, It’s working! I started going to this clinic the 2nd week of January and I’ve lost 13lbs. in one month. I haven’t weighed under 190 in over 2 yrs. Now I’m at 182. I think it has a lot to do with accountability. Having to check-in once a week for a weight check and once a month with the MD. God knew that I probably wouldn’t have done it any other way. And I know sitting me with a total stranger for lunch at my meeting that day, was no coincidence.

  • Restart!!!! Karen,I am right there with you. I told my boss this morning that I must have a tape worm. Monday—I ate half a large pizza by myself. Was I really that hungry? No but things have been SO stressful for me the past week. I was afraid to get on the scale this morning as terrible as I have been. I gained a half pound which I am praising God is not more.
    Blessings to all
    Jessica

  • Karen, I so appreciate you and all you do to encourage others! You have already accomplished great strides in your weight loss journey. I pray you will be able to lay this battle at the Lord’s feet and let Him do a work in you. I know He desires balance in our lives. He does not want you consumed with numbers, but rather with His will for your life. And the balance is also in our emotions…..not letting the scale dictate how we will behave on any particular day. You know the saying, ‘if Mama ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy’. Strive for peace in your home and in your spirit. Keep the main thing, the main thing. God will be glorified in your heart and in your home. The rest will take care of itself. You already know what to do about the weight, as you’ve proven that. Moderation and exercise will keep you strong, healthy and feeling great! Greater is He that is in me, than he that is in the world. The battle belongs to the Lord! Rest in that, sweet friend, and bring balance and harmony to your life.

  • Hi ladies. I’ve only been posting for a couple of weeks, but appreciate the support system. I am down 2 lbs. from 2 weeks ago. I had hoped to lose 5 pounds per month for 4 months to get to my goal by June. I’ve lost 24 over the past year. Some days I want to make choc. chip cookies & eat LOTS of them, but most days I stay on track. :-)

    I’ve started doing Jillian Michael’s Shred DVD (available at my Wal-Mart for $9). She’s a trainer on the Biggest Loser. It’s only 20 minutes, but my thighs sure do hurt after 3 days in a row! Just thought I’d offer an exercise option. Thanks!

  • So why does this always happen I ask my WWW friends… I decided to give up all sweets during Lent… What do I do? For two days prior to today, you would have thought that all sweets were becoming extinct so I needed to taste every possible sweet thing I could get my hands on-I was even trying candy I DON’T LIKE! I’m pathetic. Down .1 pound this week, probably because of all the shoveling that I had to do last week. I even ran the snowblower by myself-now that was funny… My husband found my lack of a straight path humerous… Oh well, not much different than my lawn mowing skills!

  • I’m so sorry to hear about you guys that are battling illness! Yuck! I don’t have your excuse, but satan took control of my eating over the weekend through Monday. I couldn’t get enough. I made a special meal w/dessert Saturday night for my honey, made a special meal with dessert for my kids on Sunday, continued to eat the two desserts on Monday. AAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH! The thing that has baffled me for years is this….I really dislike the way I look. I long to be thinner and eat healthier so why can’t I? I stress over it, I’m obsessed with it at times, but I just can’t seem to accomplish it. One of those things that make you go Hmmmmmm. I’m with Erika…I REFUSED to even get close to the scale this week. I’m slowly taking control from satan and trying to return it to God, so hopefully the week will get better, but alas, the weekend is only 2 1/2 days away and I don’t seem to do weekends very well. sigh. RESTART!

    Have a great week lady’s. I cherish you all and hope the sickies get feeling better soon. :)

  • Wow Karen—I can REALLY identify with you. I, too, have been fighting a miserable sinus thingy and it had me beat for 4 days! I laughed when I read about your taste buds but that didn’t stop you from “trying” everything. I know what you mean as I, too, had to “try” foods to see if I could taste them. Well, I guess I’m a bit more stubborn than you because I REFUSED to eat any treats or fattening things if I couldn’t taste it. So, that being said, did I lose a bunch of weight and just eat soup? NO!! I armed myself with some nasal decongestant spray and when I wanted to taste something REALLY worth tasting I used the spray. (This was a generic, mild spray…could be used as often as necessary—so I used it often!)
    Boy oh boy did I even miss my taste buds and I’m praising God they’re re-entering my life. :)

    So, my weight has remained steady but after 4 days of no exercise my body needs to get back in the swing of things.

    -Amy

  • Down 2 pounds from 2 weeks ago!! Amazing, considering I fell off of the balance board (my sub for band wagon) for two weeks while I wrestled with depression. By this past Sunday night, I had had enough of feeling tired and sad! Monday morning, I recommitted myself to exercising and the difference was felt immediately! I also had a revelation in the past few days: when I feel like my exercise is not doing any good, I remember that exercise boosts metabolism, which in turn helps the body burn calories more efficiently, even on the days I don’t do it. Thanks for all your support and great ideas! Thanks for not giving up on the blog and you are still a hero in my book, Karen!

  • I am right there with you sister! I have been fasting from white flour, sugar and chocolate with much success that is until I was making Carmel corn for two vaentines parties at school and oh yes, the couples banquet at church complete with gnocchi and chocolate peanut butter cheesecake! So, I am now back to the fasting and eating like I should. But I am not getting on the scale, forget it. I also wanted to thank you for the phone call I listened the next day and it was an encouragement to me!

  • Thank you for your transparency and encouraging us through your own ups and downs, illnesses and every day happenings in life. After a couple weeks of stagnating, I was down 2 pounds this week. I knew that I was not being careful enough about what I was eating and I was not moving—I live in the mid-Atlantic where we have been snowed in and had sick kids, and I just let that get to me. But, I decided I can’t let these things get in my way. So, I am moving again and watching what I take in. No surprise…I moved again.
    I am glad to hear that you are feeling better. Have a great week!