Getting Kids Talking Giveaway with Mary DeMuth

In my post earlier this week, we chatted a bit about raising kids who are passionate, not perfect.

Another goal I’ve had as a mom is to raise kids who will confide in us. Communication is key to any healthy relationship but sometimes getting kids to open up isn’t the easiest task to accomplish.

Enter my friend Mary DeMuth.

Mary is a writer, speaker, wife, mother, writing mentor and worshipper. A prolific southern fiction writer, she also has two fabulous books for helping parents raise kids who are confident, courageous Christ-followers. I’m including a copy of each in today’s giveaway. It includes:

~ A copy of 150 Quick Questions to Get Your Kids Talking

~ A copy of You Can Raise Courageous & Confident Kids; Preparing Your Children for the World They Live In

~ Some Orville Redenbacher’s movie theatre butter popcorn to munch on while you talk with your kids

Hear Mary’s heart on a few elements brought forth in her books:

Mary, what prompted you to write 150 Quick Questions?

I wrote the questions because I grew tired of just doing “What was your high & low point of today?” around the dinner table. I wanted to delve more deeply into my kids’ hearts.

So I wrote up 150 questions, printed them, cut them into strips and put them in a basket in the middle of our kitchen table. The kids took turns taking them out. So we tested all of these before they ever became a book. In fact, it was a few years before Harvest House published them.

 

Why do you feel engaging kids in conversations is more valuable than issuing ultimatums?

Engaging kids in chatter is a great way to our kids’ hearts. They’re more likely to entrust us with their secrets, fears, and wishes if they feel we’re listening. They will naturally confide if they feel safe. It’s always better to go for relationship, because good behavior flows out of good relationship.

What is the best piece of parenting advice you’ve ever been given?

Best piece of advice: Look into your kids’ eyes. Stop and pay special attention to them when you’re talking to them. Make them feel like they’re the most important person in the room.

Okay friends, if you would like a chance to receive this helpful book bundle, leave us a comment telling us either the best piece of parenting advice you’ve been given or your favorite way to connect with your kids—a game, tradition or simple activity. Winner announced Friday.

Blessings,

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  • With my 5 yr old, he doesn’t want to sit still often and in those times we play superheros and chase after one another and use our “super powers”. Ohhh our kids just want us to play with them. And when I can get him to sit still, I love to sit close and read to him. Or as is now, he’s starting to read to me!

  • I am not a mom yet, but sincerely enjoy reading parenting books. I look at it as getting myself ready. I am a teacher though and have learned a lot of valuable information for working with students through the books I’ve read. I would love to read these books too. I want to learn all I can.

  • Our family plays the game WHOONU and end up laughing, smiling and learning each other’s favorite things. Great way to initiate family time.

  • Take the time to listen. Some of the best times to talk with your kids are the most inconvenient to you. Be ready to drop everything when they are ready to talk. It is worth it and a tremendous blessing to both you and your child.

  • Hi there! My best advice that I have received is that you should treat your children the way you would want to be treated. Apolgize if you make a mistake…we are human and our children need to know that we too make mistakes. I always tell them “I love you” more than once a day…even if it embarasses them (My children are 17, 12 1/2, 10 and 7). I try to take them each out one on one and we have a great time just talking. They feel more like talking if they know their brother/sister is not listening in on the conversation. I teach preschool too and I often put off my “work/stuff” until after my children go to bed so that they know they are receiving my full attention. We also pray together every night as a family asking each of us what our prayer concerns are for the day. Often my children will ask to pray before I can even start. May you have a blessed day in the Lord!

    Smiles and Grace, Robin :)

  • right now I am stuck in the “What was your high & low point of today?” questions, and while it’s better than nothing, i would love some g=more great ideas on connecting with my kids!

  • The best parenting advice I was ever given was to be the individual that you want your children to be. Even teenagers look closely at their parents as a model for what a healthy adult is. If our teenagers see us “lose it” in anger, and then go back in repentance and handle it gracefully and repent, they learn how to deal with difficult emotions. When they see us reach out for the Lord, they too will reach out for the Lord. Try as best you can to be the adult you want your children to be :) God bless!

  • Best advice is to help them realize who they are in God and never limit them by our fleshly fears but encourage them to have and live out “God-sized” dreams. To teach them by being the example, not do as I say , not as I do. I fail often and long to be a better mother. Please pray for me and my family. Thank you! ; )

  • I WORK IN A HIGH SCHOOL LIBRARY AND THERE ARE SO MANY STUDENTS THAT JUST CRAVE ATTENTION … I WISH MORE PARENTS WOULD REALIZE HOW IMPORTANT THEY ARE TO THEIR CHILDREN AND TAKE SOME TIME OUT TO SPEND WITH THEM…

  • Don’t be afraid to rock your babies to sleep. You won’t still be doing that on their wedding night. If they need a little extra cuddle time – DO IT! It won’t seriously damage them and it will bring a closeness between you like nothing else can.

  • My 14-year old and I really connect when we’re in the kitchen cooking. It’s an easy, sweet time while we are mixing and chopping to open up about what’s going on in her heart. Love it!

  • We have 6 children. We have always made an effort to spend one on one time with each child. We go on dates with them. My husband does this with each one and I do too. My girls are in their 20’s now and they still want to go on dates and just be together. xoxo

  • I’m finally starting to figure out that if the kids do something one on one with with me, like helping make dinner or baking cookies, that I will end up hearing about what is on their hearts. I had to get over the sometimes it is easier and/or faster if I complete a task on my own. This is definitely a work in progress for me.

  • We ask off the wall questions, making them really goofy but related to real stuff, like, “So what did you learn in school today? Did you milk a cow yet?” They laugh at us, and we keep asking the goofy ones, until they laugh and say, “no, we __.” The whole process is fun that way.

  • I love to spend one-on-one time with the kids right after school and at night at bedtime. It doens’t always happen, but when we have the time together, I can get info about what’s going on in their worlds.

  • We live 40 minutes from school so I chat with my son in the car. Also, when doing an activity he loves, like fishing, he opens up more.

  • My favorite way to connect with my daughter is doing a puzzle and the 15 minute drive on the way to school. Thank you so much for the chance to win this lovely pack!
    Blessings,
    Rachel :)

  • I’m not sure what it is about bedtime but I noticed several years ago that if I would read to my son in his bed, afterward he became a chatterbox! Ask him about his day after school and….nothing. Make time for talking before lights out and he won’t stop. Such a great time for us to bond!

  • best advice- we r so busy giving our children what we didn’t have we r forgetting to give them what we did have! keep it simple and take it slow!:)

  • I’ve discovered that the first hour the kids are home from school is my best time to connect with them. I try to have things done so I can just sit and talk with them.

  • Being a single mom has made me aware of how important being a good role model is. I have tried hard to let my kids know what are important values in life…God, family, friends, doing for others…

  • I have several things I do with my kids that allows for natural conversation. With my daughter, we take walks, bake goodies, do crafts, or have a “girl day.” With my son, it’s usually outdoor activities or building Legos, but he will also choose to bake sometimes (in fact, it was while we were baking a cherry pie for his dad that he told me he wanted to be a great dad like his dad is. I told him that his dad is so wonderful because he follows Jesus. We talked about that for awhile, and Alex decided then that he would always follow Jesus, too!). I love these precious moments with my kids and pray daily that they continue to confide in us.