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How to Set a Guard Over Your Mouth {& a KEEP IT SHUT bundle giveaway}

 

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******************************************************************************************unnamed-3Have you joined us after reading my Proverbs 31 devotion today “How to Keep Your Lips Zipped?” If not, please hop over to read it by clicking here. Then, come back here for the discussion and a giveaway!

KISDVDDid you read it? Good. Now tell us your thoughts to the questions below.

One person will be chosen at random to win a DVD and and study guide of my new book KEEP IT SHUT: What to Say, How to Say It and When to Say Nothing at All.

Now for the questions:

What are your thoughts about what my roommate said to the grip of girls in the dorm that day? Have you ever spoken up when others were gossiping, refusing to participate? If so, what happened? If not, have you ever wished you would?

Also, what do you think about what I did by texting my friend that I pledged to her not to talk to anyone other than God about the situation that happened in her life? Have you ever done something similar? How would you feel if someone made such a promise to you?

Do you have any other thoughts on the devotion?

I can’t wait to read your thoughts!

 

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171 Comments

  1. The devotional was a great reminder to keep on working, with God’s help, on not letting my tongue sin! As the book of James says, our tongues are not easily tamed. I pray I would stand up for others and not gossip just as your roommate did. May I continue to let Jesus work in me, so that my speech is edifying and that I may learn to listen more and speak less. I long to be a better listener, and to pray not gossip, to love with my words, not tear down. I need God’s help so much. I think your book would be a tool that God could use for good in my life.

  2. I like the scripture in I Pet. that says as far as it depends on you, live at peace among all men. I try to do this, by not repeating anything or participating in gossip of any sort. Alot of people think that if something’s true or that they’ve heard it that it’s alright to pass it on. This can jade a person’s perspective on someone else before they even know them or about a situation and is wrong.

    We need to lovingly calling each other out on this and challenge each other to live a better way – God’s way.

    Would love to win the bundle – thanks for your offer.

  3. Keeping my mouth shut is a big struggle for me also. If only I had read the devotion yesterday maybe there would not have been sadness in my day. It seems that when bad things happen within my family, I am the only one that’s willing to talk about it. Was gossiping involved when my only motive was to asked if we could pray about it? Don’t really know.

  4. Karen, Thank you, so much, for this encouragement! I love how you responded to the Holy Spirits’ nudge to contact your friend. You did what Galatians 6:2 says – “bear one anothers’ burdens”.
    As we are called to be God’s mouthpieces, how can we not be convicted to the core about all the things we say? “Set your mind on things above… But now you are to put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obsene talk from your mouth…Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, COMPASSIONATE HEARTS, KINDNESS, HUMILITY, MEEKNESS, and PATIENCE… bearing with one another…And ABOVE ALL THESE PUT ON LOVE…” (from Colossians 3) Can a tree bear both good and poisonous fruit? No. “Let no corupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may IMPART GRACE to the hearers.” (Ephesians 4:29) Can a spring give both good water and bad? No. May we be overflowing with sweet refreshment like Jesus.

  5. Gossip comes in many disguises and is such an easy trap to become ensnared in. Been there. Sadly, done that. “Have you prayed (PRIVATELY) about it as much as you’ve talked/whined/stewed about it?” is a question I need to keep in the forefront of my thoughts before I speak. ?#?heartconvicting? ?#?filteradjusting?

  6. Truer words have ever been spoken (or not spoken) however you chose to look at it. Great devotion and great way to keep it zipped. Thanks!

  7. Gossip has always been hard for me to control. It’s probably because instead of condemning it, others condone it. I appreciate how your friend handled gossip, and I will do the same from now on. Also, telling your friend that you would not gossip about her situation was probably a welcome kindness to her. It showed her that you loved her in the way we all should love each other. I have committed to not gossip this season of Lent, and I am finding it harder than I thought I would. Please pray that God will give me the strength to keep this commitment.

  8. Good morning,
    Your post really hit home today. I definitely believe your roommate was a very strong young woman. I grew up in a home where my mother seemed to encourage gossiping about people after they left from visiting our home. I’m ashamed to admit, I didn’t see the wrongness of this behavior until I became an adult. And yet, there are still times I participate at work. Oh how I need the ” Keep it Shut” study!. Thank you for using your God-give. helping to encourage others.

    Sherry

  9. I really like the idea of making a promise to someone and God not to gosip when something comes up. It never crossed my mind to do that. Sure I have thought to myself just don’t talk about it but I think making that promise to someone makes a bigger impact on ourself to make sure we don’t gossip. Gossip is so destructive. I need to get your book!

  10. Oh how our flesh does like to give in when talking about someone else. If it is not edifying or to build the person up, then why speak it! I read the post on FB through Proverbs 31. I pray that it reached all over! Thank you for the reminder to keep it shut! God must be telling me something, a few days before a scripture came to me, my mouth is that of a ready writer, Psalms 45:1. Yesterday, your post!

  11. This was a great devotion today for me. i always admire those who don’t get “sucked in” and hate it when I do. I love Psalm 141:3 and need to post it on a sticky note in my car!!! Your book is on my wishlist.

  12. I have tried for years now not to gossip or say unkind things about others, especially my husband. Having been the subject of gossip, I know the pain and betrayal it causes. I also make it a point to keep confidences and assure people that I will pray, but not spread the story. The only time I talk about another’s situation is if I can enlist practical help or ask for prayer if permission has been given. I try to help, not hurt.

  13. I have tried for a few years now to avoid gossiping about other people. I think it was great your college friend spoke up and was confident enough to do so. I usually try to stay quiet and sometimes try to think if a positive about that person and interject that in the conversation. The issue I am struggling with now is how do you discuss a legitimate concern about someone or how they maybe hurt you without it being “gossip”?

  14. I haven’t read this book but it is going on the top of my ‘Need to Read’ list. Gossip is bad at work but I have learned how to cope and maintain there…however, in my family, gossip runs high. Its funny, I actually want to write out what the gossip is related to in this post, however, it actually feels like I am spreading the gossip by doing so…Guess I need to read this book more than I thought!

  15. i think your roommate was spot on! I think when we see or hear some in our circles speak up about not gossiping, it helps everyone shut it!! I am more aware of that now than ever, I have 2 high school daughters and I want to set a good example for them. If you can eliminate gossip, it stops the drama from ever starting. I can’t wait to get your book!

  16. So often, I think that just “talking” with other moms about church things or school situations is ok. But more often than I would like to admit, once a name is mentioned it crosses the line! Oh that I would learn to keep my mouth shut!!! This book would be great to read and study. Especially with young girls at home. That I could teach them how to pray that the Lord would set a guard over their mouth at an early age!

  17. I love how your roommate was bold enough to speak truth in that situation. I am a former teacher and refrained from gossip. However my coworkers just alienated themselves from me. I have not told a friend that I will only talk to them or God about sensitive issues because I assume they know me and my character, but now I will make sure people know. What a great post!

  18. Such an excellent and needed reminder of how to use (or not use!) our words. And what an inspired and directed idea to commit to your friend to not gossip, but rather pray for her. Isn’t it wonderful that this was an encouragement to her and a “guard” for you?

  19. That was a good read. I thought your friend did the right thing, and it sounds like she did it in a way that was as gentle as possible to the gossipers. I usually find that part tricky. I don’t want to put anyone on the defense.
    I love the idea of “putting a guard” on your mouth by telling someone else what you’re doing, making yourself accountable.

  20. It’s always a part of my prayer that God would be honored in everything I say, but then I fail most of the times. Keeping my mouth shut is one of the challenges that I have to face daily. There were soooo many times that I wish I could’ve stood up for what is right and told my circle of friends to stop talking about this person who is actually always the topic. I mean she may really be annoying but it’s not right to talk about her behind her back. I also wanted to talk to this person about how she’s behaving but it’s getting harder everyday since she has been like that for so long I could remember. I am praying that God reveals these things to her and change my (and my friends’) heart on how I deal with her. Thank you for this devotional. It hit home. Big time.

  21. I have reminded my kids of Bambi’s friend Thumper’s wonderful quote many times: “If you can’t say something nice, then don’t say anything at all.” This concept has been a lifesaver for me on many occasions. It takes practice and restraint and lots of talking to the Lord in the heat of the moment. When you get through those moments it is such a sweet victory!

  22. Karen your devotion today really spoke to my heart. First of all, I was so impressed with the way your roommate had the courage to stand up to the group of girls by doing what was right and refraining from joining the gossip of the other girls. Who knew that silence could be so powerful. I absolutely love what you told your friend, that you wouldn’t discuss her situation with anyone except for her and God. What a comfort, peace, and strength it must have been for her knowing that she could trust you not to gossip about her and to also pray for her and bring her situation before the Lord, how precious. I have to be honest and admit I have greatly failed in this area, especially at work. I always pray before I go to work and ask God to give me the strength not to gossip or even listen to it. At first when all of my coworkers around me are gossiping I try to ignore it, but it can be hard, and then the enemy creeps in, and a part of me wanting to fit in with the group suddenly opens my mouth and before I know it, I have contributed to the gossip. I feel so awful and definitely ask God to forgive me and continue to help me in this area.I will definitely follow your example and the example of your friend, and always try to put my self in the shoes of the individual who is being talked about. Another thing that I also think about is, the same people who sit around me and gossip about others, are the same people who will sit around and talk the same about me when I am not there. Thank you Karen and God bless you.

  23. This is such a refreshing truth for the church today. I recently watched as gossip divided and nearly destroyed our precious lttle church. The enemy is so subtle to use something that seems so innocent. I have learned that it is not enough to refuse to participate or to come back with a poitive comment. We must become a bit bolder about being honest in calling sin what it is, sin. Some people never consider that when they are sharing such things it might be displeasing to the Lord. May we all consider if what we are sharing is Thoughful, Helpful, Inspired, Necessary and Kind.

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