When the Loneliness Crushes Your Heart & Giveaway of Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst

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When the Loneliness Crushes Your Heart. A Proverbs 31 Ministries devotion by Karen Ehman at karenehman.com

“The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.’” Jeremiah 31:3 (NIV)

I will never forget the day of my senior prom. Not because I had a handsome date that swept me off my feet as we danced the night away. Not because I was able to purchase the perfect dress I’d always dreamed of wearing. Not even because I went with a group of girlfriends who all decided to go stag and then had a blast doing “The Bump” on the dance floor together. (Hey, it was the ‘80s, and “The Bump” was all the rage!)

No, I remember the occasion vividly because it was the day I decorated the school gym, set up the food buffet and then went home to spend the evening with the cast from The Dukes of Hazzard as my only companions.

I was on the committee that hung streamers and set out vases of fresh flowers to make the evening magical. And because I worked at the restaurant chosen to cater the finger foods, I also carved a watermelon, filled it with fresh fruit and placed it — along with platters of cheese and crackers and other assorted hors d’oeuvres — for the excited attendees to enjoy. But there would be no prom night for me…………….{read the rest of the devotion at Proverbs 31 Ministries but be sure to come back for the Uninvited book giveaway!}

Giveaway of Uninvited by Lysa TerKeurst over at Karen Ehman's blogHave ever struggled with feeling over-looked, left out, lonely, or unloved?

I’m right there with you. It wasn’t just on the night of my senior prom, it still happens to me today. It happens to all of us.

Today I am giving away three copies of the #1 New York Times bestseller Uninvited by my friend and ministry partner Lysa TerKeurst. Within the pages of this book you will find a fresh new perspective and a healing dose of God’s love.

If you’d love to win one of three copies I am giving away, leave us a comment naming a time when you most felt uninvited–like I did when I didn’t go to my senior prom. We’ll randomly choose three winners and announce them here on Monday. Be sure to check back to see if you won!

Ok….tell us when your own “uninvited” moment occurred. But remember what the verse from Jeremiah at the beginning of the post states….

God loves you with an everlasting love!

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  • Last year at the Adore conference held at my church, a group of my friends sat together during the Friday night session but didn’t save room for my mom and I so we sat close but not with my friends. That evening as we were leaving, I told the girls I’d save 7-9 seats for all of us if I got there 1st and could they do the same for me if they arrived first. We all agreed we would.

    The next morning I arrived and my mom and I put our stuff, pocketbooks, keys, bibles, etc at 2 tables to mark off 12 seats. I started texting the girls to let them know where we were so they could find us. Eventually they texted back that they were already there and waved us over.

    So my mom and I picked up ALL our stuff so we could go join the girls. When we got to their table and asked where we could put down our stuff, everyone started saying “oh that seat is for so and so” or “I’m saving that for ____”. Turns out that they hadn’t saved a place for my mom and I at all. So then as my favce reddened due to embarrassment, they started to scramble and pull chairs up for us. Well the tables were set w candles and gifts for the chairs already there but not for chairs that you just pulled up. I just said that I was sorry for bothering them and that my mom and I would just go back to the tables we’d tried to save for them if the tables were still available.

    I was humiliated, mortified, and mostly hurt. I didn’t want my mom to know I was so embarrassed but she kept saying “those girls are your friends?” So I finally just said that I wasn’t there for a friendly reunion but instead wanted to focus on the message of the Christian speaker that was about to take stage. However, that day still stays etched in my heart and head. Those friendships are not the same since then.

    I’ve never felt so uninvited before or since and I hope I never do but more so, I hope I never make someone feel the way I felt that day.

  • When my husband left me & our kids a yr & a half ago. I’ve never felt so “unwanted” in my life. I know God never leaves me & that He loves me but it doesnt help. Nothing does. I’m tired of being lonely & broken.

  • I was widowed several years ago. While I have good friendships and a good church community, it really seems like we live in a paired up world and the loneliness is like nothing I have ever felt before. It’s certainly made me more aware of including those who might be on the margins.

  • Thank you for this post. My whole adult life I have felt alone. I at some point joked with my women’s group that I was going to put a sign on my van that I was looking for a best friend. They laughed an I did too but shortly later I was asked by one member to start a younger study group and I did but I never felt so alone. I felt they didn’t want me anymore. It made me feel like even christians think I am not worthy of a friendship.
    People I know look at me and think, She has a lot of friends (yeah not true, I am a good faker….)
    It is hard to open up with others about the real me, so I am a pseudo communal with others and not authentic. I opened up to a friend about 6 years ago and then came up around a corner of a hallway to hear her gossiping about me. It is hard to open up anymore.
    I talk with God a lot about loneliness and like at this time my husband is a farmer, so he and my son are gone early to late. (I am a photographer trying to get my business to bloom as I am moving into landscape and wanting to sell my prints other than just do weddings and families, so if you know Oprah give her my name! LOL)
    The men being gone leads me to being home alone alot (well I have my two girls – pug Addy, lab mix Gracie) It is so hard when you see everyone posting on Facebook they are out with other girlfriends and you are well I am just still at home. God is my strength, and I will continue to pray He leads me on His Path, I know the final place I will be and I will never feel alone again. God Bless for your post.

  • It was unusual for my mother to hold birthday parties involving friends or guests. Usually, birthdays consisted of a special dinner, cake and a few small gifts as a family.

    For my 13th birthday, my mom decided to host a party for me and she put some effort into it. I was in 6th grade at the time and had passed out 20 (or more) invitations to various classmates. On my birthday, only one person showed up. She was the girl I thought was my enemy and she was an hour late, to boot. It turns out she wanted my friendship to herself and had been jealous of my friendships with others, so she would behave mean at school.

    I felt bad for myself and my mom over her unused efforts at a party spread. There was never another birthday party. We went back to our little celebration dinners. When planning parties for my own kids this memory caused me some anxiety, so God had some healing to do. Lol.

  • Many years ago in junior high a girl who I thought was one of my best friends was having a party. I was looking forward to going of course. Well as it got closer and closer to the time for the party I had yet to get an invitation. I kept wondering why. Well, just a few days before the party I got a note from this friend. On that note it said that I know you are aware that I am having a party but as you have also figured out you haven’t been invited. It also said that she would explain later.
    Well, the party came and went, but the explanation never came. Someone I thought was a close friend I guess really was only a friend and in my thoughts only. I can still remember that piece of paper and the words on it. I wasn’t really close to Jesus back then. I knew about him, went to Sunday school every week, and new all the Bible stories but I did not have a close relationship with him. Not nearly to the level I do today.
    That of course wasn’t my only uninvited moment but it is one that I still remember vividly. I think God has chosen to let me keep remembering that so I am sure not to make others feel uninvited. That incident does not have the sting it did those many years ago but I will admit there is still some hurt.
    God has redeemed me from a lot of my past and I’m still a work in progress.